Or listen direct on Spotify

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Special delivery for Leo the Dog

Towards the recent end of his reign, thuggish union leader John Setka of the CFMEU did a dead-of-night dropoff at the home of one of his factional enemies, Leo Skoumbouris.

Setka, who has form in all kinds of sketchy business and spousal harassment, was captured by a neighbour’s CCTV camera dropping a suitcase on Skoumbouris’ front porch.

It was inscribed with the words “Leo The Dog”.

Skoumbouris said the message behind Setka’s evening visit to his home was clear: “You speak out against us, we know where you are and we can get to you.”

I do not condone mobster-style tactics in business. Though I know that’s exactly what a mobster would say.

But ask any of my friends and they will confirm I am too soft and cowardly to do threat enforcement.

And yet, I’ve been having mobster-style thoughts lately after a string of dirty rat episodes involving friends.

This week, a few tales from my Rat Files. Names have been changed on the advice of the Undisruptable legal panel.

Rats in the food

Over lunch with friend Simone, I mentioned I was attending a food event the next evening, produced and hosted by a guy who is a global leader in his field. Simone’s event agency does VIP events for major corporates.

“Ah yes that guy,” said Simone. “He really knows his stuff. We hired him a while back to host an event for one of our major clients. A top night. A week later, he got in touch with the client directly and said ‘Hey, that was great, how about we do another one? But this time, let’s deal direct and cut out the middle-man.’”

Absolute filthy rat move. The client gave him a firm no, and told Simone about it. A few weeks later, Rat Boy was in touch, to see when the next event might be. She will not hold another event with him any time between now and the eventual heat death of the universe.

I relayed this story to another friend, who said, “He did pretty much the same thing to me too.”

He’d done a bunch of commercial favours for Ratatouille over the years, who then backdoored him the moment he got a sniff of cash from my friend’s direct competitor.

Apparently he has form right across the industry.

Most players know that when he’s in town, put your cheese under lock and key.

In defence of Rattus Norvegicus

At this point, a quick side note to defend actual rats. They get bad press but I like them.

I spent plenty of time with these white and grey furry friends as a vet student, and found them to be intelligent and mostly amiable. I never got bitten, and not one of them ever tried to steal my clients after we introduced them in good faith.

It’s a golden rat period right now. TikTok users will know the big trend of 2024: the Hot Rodent Boyfriend. A not-conventionally-handsome type described by user Middle Part as;

“He’s skinny, scrawny, a little weird-looking, but hot, kind of grimy for lack of a better word, a little slick.”

Hot Rodent Boyfriend poster boys include Timothy Chalamet, Adam Driver and Jeremy Allen White. I have no beef at all with HRB’s either.

But whenever I think of commercial, client-thieving rats, I really feel a thirst for medieval vengeance.

Do they think people don’t talk?

I feel bad writing this because I’ve used hundreds of great freelancers over the years.

Yet it only takes a few incidents to realise that engaging them is not a zero risk move. You really have to work to stay on top of that client relationship.

We have lost large clients to freelancers we hired to represent us. It’s such a grubby feeling.

Sure these rats get the odd win. But do they think people don’t talk? It’s something that will stick with you forever, because it makes such a great story.

If you’re a freelancer, the best way to get more work and build a reputation is to maintain a squeaky-clean line of command with the people that hired you. Keep them 100% informed of what the end-client is up to.

Consult them on every decision that’s even mildly important, even if it’s just sending them notes to create a record. Be super-cautious about doing or saying anything that might hint that you might be cutting your client’s lunch.

Our own business provides a purely technical service, so we work with creative agencies who hire us to do shows for their corporate end-clients. We work really hard to stop any perception of dealing direct with those corporates.

We’ve seen others try the “total solutions” approach to clients direct and become a clear threat to agency clients. No going back from there.

It is an honourable thing to be humble servants and know your place.

VC rats

It’s not just freelancers.

Friend Ethan has a healthcare startup. He was recently in heavy negotiations for Series A funding. For those outside startup world, businesses like Ethan’s get started with seed investors who kick in five or six figure amounts.

Once the business proves viable, they go to venture capital firms (VCs) for the seven figure investment they need to fuel the next growth stage.

VCs sometimes work in syndicates. The lead firm finds the deal, and does the negotiating and due diligence. They invest the largest amount, but bring in other firms to spread the investment risk out. In this case, three other firms.

That lead VC negotiated hard with Ethan. The term sheet had a range of unappealing items, including liquidation preferences. That’s where if the company gets sold or merges at a lower-than-expected price, the VCs get their money out ahead of all other shareholders.

When Ethan objected to that, they told him: “We’ll take it out of the other VCs’ terms, but it has to stay in ours.”

So dirty. Ratting out your partners without telling them what you’re up to, just to scratch up an extra scrap of safety net.

At that point Ethan backed out, realising that no amount of growth funding was worth committing years of his life to untrustworthy rodents.

If they were like this in the getting-to-know-you phase, what would they be like after the docs are signed? And how would the mood of that investor syndicate be after the others uncovered the rat tracks?

Ethan has moved to a more modest growth plan that will still work, involves no further external equity, and will allow him to enjoy his working life. Rat-free.

Rat-hood starts one bite at a time

You don’t need me to tell you not to be a dirty rat.

Just bear in mind what another smart friend told me once: think of each bit of work as an audition for the next.

And if you’re thinking of doing anything you feel a bit dubious about, ask yourself: how will this look if everyone finds out about it? Because odds are that’s what will happen.

It might not make you a full rat, but that’s how it starts. One bite at a time.

I’ll finish with a quote from Remy the rat from Ratatouille, a movie I love a lot to this day.

“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.”

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