Type and hit ENTER

  • Home
  • Articles
  • About
  • The Book
  • Media
  • Speaking
  • Subscribe Free
  • Advisory
  • Contact
GET CONNECTED

 

"Witty, clever and extremely relevant in these godforsaken Zoom times." Zoë Foster Blake

Book on sale now from Penguin Random House.

  • Home
  • Articles
  • About
  • The Book
  • Media
  • Speaking
  • Subscribe Free
  • Advisory
  • Contact
Time to kill your sales and marketing cliches
Share
Sales and marketing cliches Ian Whitworth
Articles

Time to kill your sales and marketing cliches

November 15, 2021
-
Posted by Ian Whitworth

If the embedded player doesn’t work go to Spotify
 

Get more customers than your identical competitors


Want to stand out from your competitors?
 
Every industry has words sales reps and business owners love. To them, those words sound like pure customer catnip. For people outside that industry … not so much.
 
My recent brush with coastal town real estate reminded me of the words only agents use.
 
A house is never in the bush. It’s nestled in the bush, like it’s an adorable ringtail possum.
 
Houses never have a kitchen. They boast a kitchen featuring … the usual kitchen things.
 
Well-lit is not lit enough. There must be an abundance of light.
 

Hack writing in your proposals and websites isn’t a total disaster for your business. But it does make you seem exactly the same as everyone else in your game.

 

Features an abundance of light

Every industry has them


Don’t feel too bad, every industry loves a cliche. TV newsrooms have professional writers, and they’re up there with real estate.
 
Words like revellers, a word used by nobody and in no other context than TV newsreaders talking about New Years Eve crowds. “ … and the rain did not dampen their enthusiasm.”
 
Only on TV news do you learn that people underwent surgery. Conversations that normal humans do not have:
 
“How’s your nan?”
 
“Good, she underwent surgery on Thursday but she’s up and about.”
 
News people can’t just say effort. That activity must be set in a ditch, and not just any ditch. Yes, the last-ditch effort.
 
Likewise professional travel writers love to say must-see, best-kept secret, and bustling eateries.
 
Like anyone would actually say the word eateries out loud.
 
My own industry loves a cliché that means nothing. Looking at you, “wow-factor”.
 
It all stems from the ancient idea that the best way to sell is to praise yourself and your product like you’re God’s gift to the customer. In an adjective avalanche.
 
From an overwrought real estate gem I read on the weekend:
 
“The kitchen design offers enough storage space for even the most accomplished master chef … moving to the second floor, you will notice a wonderful hardwood timber staircase which leads you to four spacious bedrooms, all with carpet underfoot.”
 
Underfoot is where I prefer my carpet so good to know.
 

Calm down with the word-flourishes, people. Reading that house spiel is like necking an entire bottle of maple syrup.

By the way, cliches aren’t restricted to words. Take a moment to enjoy the championship cliche levels of that estate agent stock photo at the top.

 

The B2B tender cliches


Then there are the B2B tender cliches.
 
We are pleased to submit.
 
Could an opening line sound any smugger? Followed by a mixed hamper of unprovable boasts.
 
Leading-edge.
 
Best in class.
 
A wealth of experience.
 
Industry thought-leaders.
 
All mean nothing because everyone says them and they’re all self-bestowed.
 
It’s like trying to self-bestow a nickname. We’ve all met people who’ve tried that.
 
Bloke: “Hi I’m Andrew. But everyone calls me the A-Dawg.”
 Nobody calls you that Andrew.
Cliches: self-bestowing nickname guy

Yo it’s the A-Dawg

 

3-step cliche-reduction checklist


When you’re writing anything you want customers to read, here’s a quick 3-step test to help weed your cliches out.
 

1. Talk about the customer

 
Open with what the customer gets out of it, not how awesome your product is. Go back and check the first line of this story.
 
Simple is fine. People often feel you need clever wordplay to get people’s attention. No, appealing to their self-interest is all you need.
 

2. Just the facts please

 
Kill your adjectives unless they’re provable, like blue or rectangular.
More objective facts, less subjective claims.
 
Don’t say you’re a thought leader. Describe an actual thought you had that inspired others to take action.
 
List verifiable projects you’ve done, they can draw their own conclusions about your wealth of experience.
 
Remember it’s not 1998. Media gets more visual every year, and your written pitch is likely to be near lots of pictures of your products.
You don’t need to describe them.
 
Don’t write “Diners love our succulent seafood special with lashings of chef’s special sauce” next to a photo of that item, just call it by its name.
 
Search optimisation needs text, but people search by facts. If they’re using adjectives, “best coffee” or “cheap car rental” is about as far as it goes. They’re not searching for “most sumptuous sofa”.
 

3. Read it out loud to someone else

 
Did you feel like a normal person talking?
 
Or did you feel slightly embarrassed? If so, go back and unleash an adjective massacre.
If you can’t kick the cliche habit, or simply can’t recognise them, why nothire a business writer?
They’re super-affordable now that so many media outlets and ad agencies use the Logan’s Run HR approach, where anyone over 30 is deemed too expensive and gets fired the day after their birthday.
 
They’re from outside your industry, so they can spot the cliches you can’t.
 
And then there’s writing AI. I’m testing it out at the moment, though don’t worry, this story was 100% human-made. Stay tuned for a review of my new robot overlords in the coming months.

Want to read something with very few cliches? Why not buy my book Undisruptable, the business book for people who generally hate business books.
(It’s that way because the nice editors at Penguin Random House locked me in a basement and beat me with bamboo canes until I deleted them all, and they were right to do that).
Sixty short, easy-to-read chapters on how you can escape a job that sucks and set up your own business. Anyway it’s still the #1 business book by Customer Review rating on Booktopia so check it out.
Also I write a story each Tuesday, drop your email here to get it in your inbox. Or follow on Spotify, or use the design and function hellscape that is Apple Podcasts if you must.
Undisruptable Booktopia Review Ratings
No-geoblock audio version:
https://ianwhitworth.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Cliches.mp3
November 15, 2021

Related News

Other posts that you should not miss.
Goldfish In Chief By Ian Whitworth
Articles

Goldfish-In-Chief

April 15, 2019
-
Posted by Ian Whitworth

Dealing with people who always get swayed by the last person they spoke to.

Read More
April 15, 2019
Posted by Ian Whitworth
Articles

Midlife crisis time for the blog: fix your future regrets

June 20, 2022
-
Posted by Ian Whitworth

I’m going to switch the blog to Advice Column Mode soon, send me your curliest questions.

Read More
June 20, 2022
Posted by Ian Whitworth
Use your own product main shot
Articles

Why you must use your own product

March 20, 2022
-
Posted by Ian Whitworth

Use your own product. I guarantee you will find at least one thing that will make you hang your head in shame.

Read More
March 20, 2022
Posted by Ian Whitworth
← PREVIOUS POST
Bots shut us down by mistake: sneaky business risks you don't expect
NEXT POST →
The home loan nightmare for business owners: traps you should know
FREE E-BOOK

SUBSCRIBE
MOST POPULAR
  • Last-minute grocery businesses are a massive bag of dicks
    June 27, 2022

    It’s a business model that seems to have cherry-picked all the worst, hardest, most expensive elements of running a business.

  • Scotty Marketing
    3 post-Scotty lessons: good marketing is not like that
    May 30, 2022

    Don't be a product that people only buy once. How to make marketing a force for honesty and profitability in your business instead.

  • Undisruptable South Korea deal
    Undisruptable’s first international publishing deal
    January 31, 2022

    Undisruptable will see its first international release later this year and it's not in a country you'd expect.

  • “An Australian business classic.” Reviews of Undisruptable
    July 12, 2021

    The reviews are in and they are very good.

ABOUT IAN WHITWORTH

Ian Whitworth is a reformed advertising creative director turned entrepreneur with a successful national group of businesses that he doesn’t work in day to day. Read more

POPULAR TAGS
management
branding
Sales
Marketing
jargon
Persuasion
Covid 19
Nickelback
Pitching
Coronavirus
strategy
MBA
startup
Copywriting
Motivation
Business
CEO
Design
Graphic Design
Business Travel
Elon Musk
Frequent Flyer
David Attenborough
Advice
Lacey Filipich
Saxton Speakers
Scene Change
Penguin Random House
Gary Vaynerchuk
Sales Pitch
Tendering
Planning
Conversation Skills
Customers
Customer Service
AI
Shingy
LinkedIn
Simon Sinek
Success
Presentations
Mr Pigden
Motivators
Entrepreneur
Ian Wright
Archives
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Privacy
  • Terms & Conditions
© Whitworth Communications 2020
Time to kill your sales and marketing cliches - Undisruptable